


To separate would be to fall

by saracenknows



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:50:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saracenknows/pseuds/saracenknows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite it all, there were good days. But the sadness always comes creeping back, and Remus can't help but think they deserve better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To separate would be to fall

Despite it all, there were good days. James and Lily's wedding, where Sirius couldn't stop grinning and Remus looked on fondly as the couple looked at each other like everything they'd been through was worth it for just this one moment. 

Lily had worn a white dress and carried a brightly-coloured bouquet. James had grinned like a mad-man at the sight of her and hadn't stopped since. Sirius made a slightly drunken speech that had everybody in stitches before ending with a touching sincerity that surprised anyone who hadn't encountered Sirius off his face in the early hours of the morning before. At this point it was only three in the afternoon, but special occasions called for a little sappiness. James, for his part, had groaned loudly and Remus had shaken his head muttering “not again.” Lily had smiled affectionately at him before turning her attention to Sirius who was loudly explaining just how lucky Lily was to have someone like James, though not, of course, as lucky as James was that she'd finally said yes when he asked her to Hogsmeade all those years ago because she was way out of his league, the lucky bastard. 

It wasn't until later, when the sun had gone down and the only light came from fairy lights and lanterns that circled the orchard, that the sadness started creeping back. Lily and James were still dancing together, half in shadow, but they were slower now, leaning in to each other as if holding each other up, as though to separate would be to fall. 

Sirius and Remus sat together on the sidelines, the light playing along the sharp angles of Sirius' face and catching on the scars that spanned Remus' skin. They were silent too, watching the remaining dancers and the way the lights softened the darkness. 

“It's not fair,” Sirius said at last. It should have sounded angry, but instead it just sounded sad. There was a desperation there, a hopelessness that Remus hadn't heard for a long time. Not since Sirius was a kid; a teenager with a bruise painted across his cheekbone in yellow and purple and quivering hands. Since the war began, Remus had seen Sirius angry and sad, guilty and grieving, but he had always had hope. But maybe Remus just hadn't been listening properly. 

“I know.” he said. It wasn't fair that James and Lily might have so little time left, wasn't fair that Lily was missing a bridesmaid, wasn't fair that there had been too many names in the toast to those who were no longer with us. It wasn't fair that even today there was still fear, still sadness, still pain. 

And looking at Sirius, at his sharp cheekbones and grey eyes, Remus couldn't help thinking that he deserved better, the boy with the bruised skin and shaking hands. 

No, it wasn't fair. 

Remus got to his feet. “May I have this dance?”  
Sirius didn't hesitate before taking his hand. “Always.”

It wasn't fair, but they would make the most of what they had.


End file.
